To Stay or Not to Stay?
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To stay or not to stay. That is the question.
Surprisingly, this homebody from western New York ended up spending the majority of her adult life in rural north Georgia by way of Paul Smith’s College in the Adirondacks; Orlando, Florida; Great Lakes, Illinois; Kaneohe, Hawaii; and Atlanta, Georgia.
But while recently reading a post on my hometown facebook page, it hit me–what it might have been like had I settled in the place where I grew up.
A question was posed about people who most influenced your early life. Many answers involved teachers.
Then they were commenting about interactions with their high school teachers in adulthood, getting to know them, becoming friends.
High school friendships had developed into deep and meaningful relationships.
That’s not so surprising, of course they did.
But in this light, I realized why it felt so odd to send a facebook friend request to many high school friends.
My relationships with most of them had basically ceased when we were seventeen or eighteen.
We’re all in our sixties now.
Over the intervening forty plus years we’ve traveled different paths and had different experiences.
I’m sure we have all learned things about ourselves we didn’t want to know, and also things we were pleasantly surprised to find out.
We weren’t there to share those moments with each other though, so I have no idea where they’ve been and who they’ve become or in which direction they’ve grown.
Had my husband and I chosen to live our life near my family, we would have built that life together on the established foundation of my youth.
We’d have had doctors and pharmacists I already knew and trusted.
I could get my hair cut by the daughter of the neighbor down the street that I’d known all my life.
I would use the same mechanic my dad used and they’d say, “Oh, yeah, you’re Art’s daughter. Go ahead and bring it in today.”
I would have had the opportunity to get to know teachers, neighbors, and classmates as an adult, in a deeper more meaningful way.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have a wonderful family and some great friends that I wouldn’t have if not for the choices I made.
But I have to admit that I’m just a little jealous of those who ended up-by choice or by circumstance–living near their childhood home.
I am, however, really enjoying gaining “new” friends with whom I already share a common beginning and getting to know them for the second time.
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Unfortunately, you can’t always get (everything) what you want… 🙁 The family picture above is probably one of the last pictures of Dad without a beard…? Arriving in July 1974 to EA, I only knew him with a beard… 🙂
Heiner, I think you’re right, it may be one of the last beardless pictures. Once he grew it back, he never shaved it again! Oh, how I miss him! ❤
Hey my dear friend. I love your pictures. I, like you, have often wondered how it would have been to stay in my hometown and lived my life there instead of leaving home for college at 17 to Shorter in Rome. One thing different for me is that I can travel and be in my home town in about 3 hours and 45 minutes which is closer than you traveling to northern part of the US. I have had the luxury to go home often over the years and even though my parents are gone, my brother and sister in law still live in Blakely. I would say half of my Senior class left Blakely after high school. I had stayed in touch with very few high school classmates until facebook. I do have lots of them as friends. Of course, they are not close friends but it is nice to see pictures of their kids and grandkids. I have gone home for several school reunions over the years and have always enjoyed reconnecting. But my true friends these days are the ones I have met through my adult life. I know a lot of people and am thankful for that, however I can count the truest ones on one hand. They would do anything for me at the drop of a hat. One thing about my home town is that most people in the city and county and surrounding counties knew my daddy and know my brother because of their occupation of mortician and owning and running the only local funeral home. I have been stopped a couple of times in rural south GA for speeding as I often do and one look at my drivers license last name got me out of all tickets. The question was always is your daddy, JT and your brother, Steve. I would say yes sir. They all said I have helped many times leading the cars to the cemetery for a funeral. They are great men of service to the community. Have a good day Miss Manry and slow down. I thanked them and slowed down a bit. My Daddy thought it was funny but he also smiled as I know his heart loved it. We had lots of laughs about that. I have several pictures in my home of land marks in Early County. It is a farming community. I always enjoy seeing the green fields of peanuts, corns, soybeans and cotton. It is truly a beautiful, small rural SW GA picturesque county. It is one of the largest counties in the state land wise but one of the most sparsely populated with only about 12,000 in the entire county and only one elementary, middle and high school. The local paper calls it God’s garden spot. I am thankful for having grown up in Blakley and always enjoy visiting. I have fond memories of teachers, church, church camps, 4H, a girls bicycle club, playing hide and seek and running up and down the sidewalks and yards of South Main Street with the Mosely children from two houses down, the local fish fries, the local Kolomoki State Park complete with the 2nd largest indian mound behind the Etowah’s in Cartersville, fishing with my daddy, playing softball and basketball, shooting my bb gun, the smell of agriculture and freshly plowed fields and then harvesting those fresh green peanuts in the Fall. No smell like it in the world. So yes, I have beautiful memories. My favorite place to visit is the cemetery. I always go see my parents and grandparents grave and just start walking and remember the memory of many hundreds of good hearted Christian souls that I was fortunate enough to have in my life growing up in Blakely. Sorry so long but the memories came flooding in. Have a great day Carol and thank you for sharing your thoughts and thank you for this beautifully written blog. Love you girl.
Oh, Susan, how you make my heart sing! Such beautiful memories! I guess we each go where we feel called to go… I’m glad we both ended up here because it’s been such a privilege to call you friend!
And it’s so nice you were still close enough to go home often. You still got some of that good stuff as well! (that ticket thing is great!)
I never made it to any high school reunions, always something else going on here. Maybe for 2024-50 years. Wouldn’t that be a hoot!
I’ve read and re-read your comment and having grown up in a small village, I love hearing about growing up in the country. I’m so fortunate that we live on acreage now and I love the sounds and smells of country life.
You ought to write a book!
Love you…c ❤
Thank you my friend but I will leave the writing to you. I was in Blakely this past week with my sister celebrating her early 70th birthday with my brother and sister in law. We had the best time playing mexican train dominos and scrabble and eating and laughing. Early County where I grew up in one of the largest land mass counties in the state with only about 12,000 total population. We took a drive each day we were there and rode all over the county which still contains many red dirt roads, many! I rode on roads I had not ridden since my teenage years and we were all laughing and talking about certain places in the country for parking for dates and making out. I told them I got my first hickey on my neck from Phil Burkhalter down by the river. They fell out laughing. Steve and Ginnie both acknowledged they had made out in the same parking lot which is a boat ramp for the Chattahoochee River, some 50 plus years ago. Funny! We had so much fun and the farmers were beginning to plow some fields getting ready for planting. It was wonderful to be home and remember the good old times. Take care my friend. Love you. Thank you again for your writings. I love them.
A beautiful week in Blakely, and a good time was had by all! I love it! ❤