Navigating a Life

None of us are born knowing anything.

And none of us die knowing everything.

What happens between birth and death is a dance mostly of our own making.

The foundation for the dance is built as we grow from infant to toddler to adolescent to adult.

The better the foundation, the easier it will be to navigate the ins and outs of being human.

If you’re lucky enough, when it’s time to leave the nest you are equipped with the really important things like knowing you are loved and therefore lovable. 

You have some self-esteem. 

You have a few life skills like the ability to sew on a button or balance a checkbook.  You can boil water. 

You know some of your boundaries—what you’ll put up with from others and what you won’t. 

If your foundation is lacking, you may spend your first several years trying to find the love you missed out on as a child or trying to fill the hole in your heart left by an absent parent. 

Hunting for that one person who really gets you. 

Being destructive to yourself because you can’t–or don’t want to–figure out what to do. 

Once you get out on our own, there’s so much more to life than you ever imagined. 

There’s college or a job. 

Dating. 

Marriage for some.  And then divorce for some. 

Children of your own…or not. 

Where to live.  What kind of lifestyle you want.  Go with the flow or make your own path. 

Budgets.  Doctor visits. 

How you want to spend the minutes, hours, days, months, and years of your life. 

Physical details aside, you need to figure out what kind of person you want to be. 

I don’t think we ever arrive at just the perfect place; we’re always becoming. 

That’s the thing with the world and this thing called life.  It’s always changing. 

Navigating the changes can be challenging to say the least. 

If you pay attention to navigating the changes (growth) on the inside, the challenges on the outside are so much easier to manage. 

As you walk through life, listen to people’s stories—especially their struggles.  Use this to grow your empathy. 

Pay attention to cause and effect in your own and other people’s lives.  When you keep seeing the same scenario play out over and over, when you hear yourself say “Every time I do _________, _________ happens,” sit up and take note.  You’re on to something. 

Use it to grow your wisdom.

Learn not just to ask questions, but to ask the right questions.  Don’t assume that someone else’s concept of “family is a high priority” and yours are the same thing. Ask what that actually means to them, how it manifests itself in their life.

Grow your sense of worth and happiness on the inside.  If it’s built on outside factors like your job title, your car, or how many pairs of shoes you have in your closet, it’s no good because it can easily be taken away.

The stronger and more sure you are on the inside, the easier it is to navigate your life on the outside, the better able you will be to handle the things you have no control over.

Foster good relationships and keep them strong. Nobody gets through life completely on their own.

Surround yourself with people you love who love you back.

Know who you are and what you believe in.

Love who you are.

Be who you are.