Being Human
Humanity.
Like it or not, we’re all lifelong members of this club.
We have so many differences, but we are so alike.
The obvious: we all look different from each other (unless you’re an identical twin or such as that). We come in different sizes, shapes, shades, ages, and features.
As different as we all appear, as independent as we think we are, we truly need each other to thrive as human beings.
Aside from the basic things we need to survive–air, water, food, shelter, etc…–we have a need to be connected to each other, to be touched, to be loved.
As humans, we also have a need for validation: to be seen, to be noticed and acknowledged.
Watch babies. They’re not embarrassed to ask (or cry) for what they need.
Sometimes they just want to be held. To hear a soothing voice. To feel another heartbeat.
I think we get awkward about the emotional things we need when we get to the age where we start realizing that we aren’t the center of the universe.
We start building walls around ourselves. (Read about that here)
Then we find ourselves spending so much of our adulthood trying to figure out what it is that’s missing from our lives.
So the more of these things we get growing up, the less time we’ll have to spend hunting for some vague feeling we can’t quite identify.
I grew up in a huggy-kissy family. (Lucky me-seriously!) My husband did not. His family loved each other, they just didn’t express it like mine did.
The first time he asked me for a hug, I nearly fell over.
“I need a hug,” he said. Just like that.
We’d been married for quite some time at that point (literally years) and while he always hugged me back when I hugged him, he had never initiated the hug.
I was so proud of him that he finally got past that whole ‘real men don’t need hugs’ thing because I think deep down, we all need a hug sometimes and when we do, we should be able to ask for it without feeling stupid.
I believe that even as adults—or maybe especially as adults–we need to be able to offer loving gestures and have them received well.
We need to be understood and acknowledged for who we are.
We need to be able to be ourselves without worrying about what other people think of us.
We need to know that we are loved.
We need to feel worthy of love.
Each and every one of us.
~~~
I’d love to hear your opinion of what we need as human beings in order to thrive.
Join our community
Subscribe to get our latest content by email.
We need meat and vegetables. And we need change. Not nickles and dimes, but human change. We need to think and say, “Back in my day, we didn’t have all this stuff…” It reminds us of what life is, and what it once was. We sound like we’re complaining that life used to be better, and sometimes it’s true. But mostly, we are boasting that as a species, humankind is getting smarter, stronger, more capable, more adept at controlling our lives and our environments.
When i think about the differences made in the past twenty years, i see better technologies, but the reasons for it have not always benefitted us. Better amplifiers and speakers and clearer sound, but the creativity of songwriters is practically gone.
When i think about the differences of the past three hundred years, WOW! There was so much manual labor to get so little work done. It would take hundreds of man-hours to lay in a supply of firewood for the winter. Machinery and modern tools have made a huge difference in that, and given us so much leisure time to find other things to do.
When i think of the changes of the past 5,000 years, well, i just don’t want to think about it. I like our comforts.
You know, you’re right! It is amazing, the advances we have made over the past many years and a lot of them have made our lives so much easier. (I love those comforts too!) But the heart still wants what the heart wants. The need for love and tenderness and acceptance and connection hasn’t changed. We keep looking back to our past because connection to each other was built into our lifestyle; we depended on each other more. I’m not saying it’s good or bad, but along with all the benefits of new technologies, there is more space between us. It’s nice to text a friend or chat on facebook, but what is better is going out to lunch and getting a hug and talking face to face in the glow of a beautiful friendship. It’s that human touch we so need: the touch of a hand, the sound of a friendly voice, a smile. There’s no technology that can replace that. P.S. I ❤️ you…Next time I see you-hugs all around (as always!).
For me I’d say physical contact, like my kids and grand kids running into my arms for a hug, a pat on the back when I’ve worked hard, a mother’s kiss on the forehead. Then there is the emotional connection, like eye contact, respect, appreciation, love. I also have to add that my needs include the giving of these things as well as the receiving.
I love it when someone does something that puts a smile on my face. But I get way more satisfaction when I can put a smile on someone else’s face. When I’m out and about and a stranger says, how you doing today?, my answer is often, pretty good for an old woman. 95% of the time they say something like, you’re not old. And I return with, No, but it put a smile on your face which was my intent. Then they smile even bigger. I have a need to do this. It’s what fills my heart.
Another need I have is for time in nature, time to feel connected to the earth, to feel the connection between every living being. It just fills my soul. When I feel an unbalance in my life I know that I am in need of these emotional and physical connections. I have to seek them out in order to get myself in balance again.
I too have a need for time in nature, but it’s the thing I mostly don’t get enough of. Planting a garden this year helped with that a lot. We’re now eating the sweet potatoes we harvested and they’re delicious. It’s good that you realize what you need and that you seek it out when you need it!
That’s because you wont wear shoes. when you feel unbalanced just go barefoot!!! 🙂 love ya
Hahaha! It’s the end of February now, and I’ve had nothing but flip flops on these feet this winter!