Something Like Grace

When I was younger, I took a lot of grief for making “excuses” for other people. If someone ignored me, I might have said they were probably having a bad day. If someone was unkind, I was inclined to write it off as the person was maybe not feeling well.

I’m not saying that it didn’t bother me any–sometimes it hurt me deeply–but I chose to believe there was a legitimate reason for that person’s behavior.

Once, at work, I witnessed two co-workers walk by each other. Anne said hi, and then Jean said nothing and kept on walking. As I approached Anne, she asked me, “Did you see that? What did I ever do to her?”

I offered that maybe she was having a bad day. “Aren’t we all,” Anne said.

When I caught up with Jean a while later, I asked her if she was ok. She was usually very friendly and it wasn’t like her to ignore someone. She got teary and told me that she just found out that morning that her mother had cancer.

You know that old saying about being kind? The one that says we never know what battles others are fighting? Well, it’s very true.

I know myself that when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I get snappy. Thoughtless. Even seemingly uncaring. And during those times (and they’re more often that I care to admit) I appreciate it when friends and family extend a little grace.

Grace is generous and undeserved. Grace is a kindness of spirit that makes allowances for our humanity. Grace glosses over our imperfections. It’s like forgiving someone for a transgression before they even realize they are in need of forgiveness.

Thinking the worst about people divides. Grace unites.

Taking things at face value divides. Kindness unites.

Grace and kindness are both born of love. Love, if it is true and is for the best interest of the other, it unites. It pulls us closer to each other. It binds us together. It keeps us connected.

I read somewhere that most of the time, when you think someone has done you wrong, that person wasn’t acting against you, they’re actions were for themselves. Like with Anne and Jane. Jane wasn’t acting against Anne. Anne’s passing by her probably didn’t even register. She was just in her own head with her own problems.

At that point, Anne was the farthest thing from her mind.

We’re all here together. We each have our own issues. We each have our own way of dealing with them.

Life is hard enough these days what with covid, adversarial politics, people judging each other based on their vaccination status, not to mention racial, generational, and religious issues.

Sometimes I need a little grace just to survive the day. How about you? Personally, I think we all could use some.

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