Becoming
We all spend a lifetime becoming. Hopefully, becoming wiser. Becoming more whole.
Some people get a good head start with their upbringing, some people leave childhood with so much to overcome.
Wholeness is that place where what you believe deep in your heart and soul is in total harmony with what you say, and how you act.
I’m not there yet–not even close–and I doubt I’ll make it in my lifetime, but I’m trying and every step closer is a little victory.
One of the difficulties with this process is that we’re not all at the same point in our journey. So when we think someone else is being ridiculous, it could be that they are where we were a few years ago and we tend to forget.
When my husband was beginning to slide into geezer-hood, he was driving slowly down a dirt road and a kid came up behind us fast and passed us like we were standing still. My husband, almost yelling, said, “What the hell is wrong with that kid!” I said, “Hey, forty years ago, that kid was you.”
It’s easy to forget that we were there once, too.
There are age differences, experience differences, circumstantial differences, that widen the gap between where each of us is on our journey.
It’s not linear either. We don’t all grow in the same way – A, B, C, D, E. You may be way ahead of me in one thing, and I may be better at something else.
That’s where we can learn from each other, take parts of someone we admire and make them our own.
This isn’t copping out on who you really are. YOU get to decide who you are. YOU get to decide which qualities make you feel the best about what you stand for.
YOU make up your belief system. Nothing is written in stone. You are free to choose.
I have had many people in my life who I admired for a trait they had that I didn’t posses but that I would like to have.
My dad was a great listener. He actually listened without trying to come up with what he was going to say next.
I’m bad about interrupting because I think you need to hear what I just thought of before I forget, when what would be most helpful would be to listen until you’re finished.
That’s something I try to do better at and sometimes I succeed. More often than not, I fail. I still try.
I think it’s important. Deep down I believe that listening well is one of the kindest things we can do for each other. I want my actions to reflect that.
The people we meet, the books we read, the experiences we have all have the power to help us grow or to hinder our progress towards becoming the best we can be.
Choose books and people carefully where you have a choice.
“With age comes wisdom,” declared Oscar Wilde. “But sometimes age comes alone.”
Wisdom doesn’t just come from experience, but from learning from our experience. Being open minded enough to view it from different perspectives. Having an open heart.
I have found that as I have grown with age, I have been able to let my ego take a back seat. I realize that I don’t always have to be “right” and that what’s right for me may not be right for you.
I believe deep down in my heart and soul, that we’re not here to compete with one another, but rather to love each other and help each other through this life.
We’re here to validate each other, to get each other through the traumas and tragedies and struggles of this existence without the worry of appearing to be weak or feeling foolish.
To teach each other and learn from each other.
I have so much farther to go, but I am becoming.
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So true Carol. I think a lot of us tend to think about what we’re going to say next, rather than truly listen to what the other person has to say. And we need to respond to what they said. I find so often, I’ll tell someone something, and they don’t respond to it, but instead go on a tangent about themselves. I’m hoping I don’t do that, but I’m making a conscious effort to listen more. My father always said, you never learn anything with your mouth open.
As to having to always be right, I’m guilty. I read a line from a movie, and the character said, “it’s more important to be kind that be right”. So whenever someone says something that I know is incorrect, I try to weigh the importance of correcting them. Usually it’s trivial things, things that really don’t matter. So I don’t correct them, because I know how I feel when someone corrects me regarding minor details. It can be hurtful.
And finally, there are three things that matter most in life. The first is to be kind, the second is to be kind, and third is to be kind. That’s a quote from someone, can’t remember who 😊
Nancy, I had heard the “be kind” quote as well and didn’t know who’s quote it was. I looked it up and it is attributed to Henry James. I’ve heard of him as well but I’ve never read any of his work.
I have to be vigilant with the listening and correcting. My mother still corrects my grammar in my head so it often just spews out of my mouth…
Loving this blog my friend. I like your point on listening better and to remember people have different points of view than ourselves and learn to love the differences. The old term, agree to disagree and still love each other is one of my favorites. I also agree with you that we are here to help each other and love our fellow man and as the bible and God said in one of the ten commandments, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. Yes, encouraging each other and listening better is the way life should be for everyone instead of letting our mouths get ahead of our thoughts. When you take time to listen and not interrupt, we often learn so many new things. I have and am still learning this skill everyday. I always try to listen more. Thank you my friend. Happy Spring and new growth of life. I am loving the beautiful colors that spring gives up. Love you girl.
Spring! I’m loving it, too! The warmth and the colors are beautiful, and there’s so much more to come.
I try to “become” more every day as well. It’s not always easy to let go of yourself in favor of another, but so worth it.
I’m glad you enjoyed this…c