The Gift of You

This note was found after my dad passed away. It was in the basement along with a box of cards he had received from his children (us) over the years.

In case you’re reading this on a phone, I’ll tell you what it says:

Hi Kids… I must have read these cards a hundred times here in the cellar and each time they bring tears of joy to my eyes. Thank you all – I’ve been blessed far beyond what I deserve. God Bless You † dad.

This was just written on a scrap of paper.

I added the colorful envelopes and card. I matted and framed it. And then I hung it on the wall in my office.

I look at it every day.

~~~

Last week, I read two posts from one of my nieces on Facebook. The first one is a memory post from six years ago when my dad passed away; the second one is a recent post during the current pandemic. (By the way, she’s a nurse working in a hospital and she and her husband have two young children at home)

To my sweet Papa: thank you for teaching me selflessness. Thank you for teaching me the joy of seeing others flourish. Thank you for teaching me to paint. Thank you for supporting every whim I ever had. Thank you for sharing your apples and pears with me each night on the hearth when I was a kid. Thank you for every word of wisdom, hug, blessing, and birthday card. Thanks for rocking Warren to sleep so beautifully. This world, and my heart, will never, ever be the same. Rest easy, and give mema a big Chapstick-y kiss for me.

[Papa] I thank God you do not have to suffer alongside us today. I know you would be risking whatever you had to, to ensure your family and those in need were taken care of. I try to keep your spirit with me in these hard times and remember to find peace where there is only chaos and unknowing. I know you’re watching over us. I miss your steady, callused hands and your warm, reassuring hugs. I miss you every day.

~~~

~~~

This is what I mean by the gift of you. The everyday you. The person God is calling you to be. The person He sees in you.

My dad was just spending time, being himself: kind, humble, loving, caring, a little bit sweet and a little bit salty.

I wish you could have seen him with a baby in his arms. He would make up these sweet little songs to sing while he rocked a little one off to sleep (or not) and they were always mesmerized by it.

You couldn’t be around him any length of time and not be changed in some way for the better.

My mom (Mema), well, being around her made me want to have fun. But that was who she was.

My dad, being around him made me want to be a better person.

~~~

Some time ago, I was doing my best to help someone I knew, but I felt that the best I had to offer wasn’t really helping. I wasn’t seeing much progress and I was thinking that maybe I should let it go.

I talked with my dad about it. After some discussion, this is what he told me.

Keep being the person you are. Look into your heart. It knows what the right thing to do is. You may only be the sower of seeds, you may never get to see the harvest. Sow the seeds anyway.

I took his advice and just kept on sowing those seeds. This time though, I got to see some of the harvest and it was spectacular.

~~~

Whether he was giving advice, rocking a baby to sleep, or just sharing a pear with his granddaughter, he was always being who he was. No pretense, no grandiose gestures, no limelight. Just Papa.

He always gave you the best gift he had–himself. His time. His attention. His caring. His love.

And so I say to you, be yourself. Share yourself with those you love–even with total strangers. You have no idea how profound an impact you may be having on someone else’s life and how much beauty you add to the world.

~~~

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